done done done done DONE

I've been gone for a while.  I've been getting whipped by my schoolwork this entire semester.  Whipped hard, too, with no SafeWord to loosen the straps when things got a little out of control.

It was worth it though.  Last weekend, I finished my senior project.  103 pages of tension, sweat, and bloody keyboarding.  Earlier this week, I completed my final final.  Say that with me:  "final final."  No more exams, EVAR!  I am one-hundred-per-cent, now and forever, i's dotted and t's crossed, DONE with my degree requirements.

Once I get my grades back and do all the formalities, I'll have:
(assuming that I passed of course)

• Diploma in Homeland Security
• Associate's degree in Computer Information Systems
• Bachelor's degree in Information Systems, focus on Programming

I feel more smarticles already.

Besides schoolwork, we've had the typical whirlwind of family stuff happening around the house.  I have a few  dozen topics dancing with the sugar plums in my head.  I really need to flush my brain and start over, though.  Kinda like coming back from vacation and deleting the email inbox.  If it's important, it'll come back.

Megan lettered for doing her 3rd season of color guard in the marching band.  She's just now a freshman, so she got credit for the years she was in middle school, but spinning flags w the high school band.  She's kicking tail in her classes too.  Missed straight A's the first semester by one class:  B in violin class.

Sam is home from Radford.  For keepsies.  Before you jump to conclusions, her return is by choice.  She earned solid A's and B's her first semester, but decided to switch schools.  She's already registered for the spring semester at NOVA, and will be transferring to JMU either sophomore or junior year.

Ethan just finished a really cool science project.  He built models of three different bridges, and tested how much they flexed under different weight loads.  His project looked like the projects you see in the movies, 1000x better than anything we ever did in school.

Joe and Celeste are doing their thing down in Kentucky still.  My mom and I took a road trip a while back, checking out their apartment and delivering furniture.  The apartment is super cute in a nice neighborhood, just up the road from where he's working.  They're coming into town for Christmas, so I'm looking forward to getting caught up on all the latest.

Christmas for us is actually starting tomorrow.  Since the kids have so much family, step-family, and extended family, December 25 is insanely busy.  We do our famstuff on a different day, so we can relax a bit and enjoy the time together without dealing with a high-pressure schedule.  We're going to dinner in Alexandria at Columbia Firehouse.  I know it sounds like a bingo hall, but it's actually a really cool restaurant built into the shell of an 1800's firehouse.  After dinner, we're heading down to the National Harbor to check out the lights and shows, before heading home to exchange gifts.

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Balls.  Not like that.  These are balls in a Christmas, as well as a use your brain, kinda way.

This game kick's some Christmas ass!  You'll soooo wind up on the naughty list, though.  Super Santa Kicker!
(Why is Santa so jolly?  'Cuz he knows where all the naughty girls live.)

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Send submissions!!!!


Five ways to let your Facebook password get stolen.  (Side note:  it drives me effing crazy when people say "I was hacked!"  After a decade in IT, I've only seen one instance when the user hadn't done something boneheaded first.)

Gawker's password database was compromised.  Here's a graph of the most common passwords in that data spill.  If your password is on the list, maybe you should be a little more creative...

Der-duh-derrr.

Dog people are infinitely funnier than cat people.

Dogs don't need people to be funny:  "I made food!  I'm magical!"

Candy is my favorite part of Halloween.

The 1985 John Riggins limited edition Ford F-150.


Only in West Virginia.

CrifDogs NYC!


All I need is the little box of 8 Crayolas.

I just got free of my BlackBerry.  I can vouch for accuracy of the dinosaur picture.
(btw - Verizon, which caught a lot of my venom over the summer, backed off of their stupid "pay extra for nothing" policy.  We renewed the contract and got three new phones, including my Droid X.  I'm still irritated at Verizon, but I LOVE MY DROID.)

CHOMP!

Dammitall.  I knew it was them.

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didja miss me?

Yes, it's been a long while since I've written. No no no no, stop sniffling now. It's not you, it's me. I stopped writing to everyone, not just you.

I sincerely apologize to those of you who live for my once-weekly updates. I laugh at you a little bit, too, bc I really don't feel as if my writing is anything special. It's actually not much more than a translation of some of the incessant chatter bouncing between the insides of my skull.

Where have I been these past few weeks? Nunya. Nunya Bidniss.

Seriously, lemme do a quick recap to get you all up to speed.

FOUR Fridays ago, we bounced up to Ohio for a family wedding. My cuz Dana got hitched. It was a beautiful ceremony (with all the required Catholic aerobics) and a great party afterwards. It also just happened to be Ohio Bike Week. :) Pics here.

THREE Fridays ago, Samantha graduated high school. I'm not sure why, but the school decided to do the ceremony in the football stadium, instead of at the Patriot Center. Mother Nature decided to make it about 140 degrees and 140% humidity that afternoon. Once the sun went down, it turned out to be a really nice event. Sam's on her way to Radford in the fall, and totally stoked about it. She's already got her roommate (another girl from her HS) and I've already sent money.

I'm really proud of my baby girl.

TWO Fridays ago, I hit the road with a couple friends from my office. We bike together during the week, and have done a few triathlons together. This time we were on the way to a much much MUCH bigger race: The Gran Fondo Fab Fifty. We camped Friday night near Deep Creek, before hitting the race Saturday morning. My pics here.

The Fondo is a road-bike race, starting at the top of Wisp Ski Resort, and running up down and around all the mountains at Deep Creek. It is by far the most challenging ride I've ever done. Taller, steeper, farther, and faster than ever before. I had to resist making SteveAustin sound effects. The killer? The last two miles of the course are spent riding back to the top of Wisp Mountain.

Fondo Stats

• Linear distance: 50.76 miles
• Total climb: 5,800'
• Elapsed time: 4:01:23
• Best part: INSANE TOP SPEEDS!!!!

After the race completed Saturday, me & the guys high-tailed it back to NoVA to celebrate Seth & Susan's wedding. It was a blast - hanging out with old friends and meeting a lot of new ones. Of course, smashing the glass and dancing the Hora were included. Tony spotted the chairs on the dance floor first, but we may have tied in the sprint to grab a leg. I guarantee that if the chandelier was a tiny bit lower, we would have had an incident.

ONE Friday ago was the holiday weekend, which also coincided with Samantha's 18th birthday. I left work early, and left all of you in the lurch. Sorry again. I didn't want to distract anyone, and extend your workday any longer than it needed to be.

Anyway, thru the weekend we spent a lot of time with fam & friends & neighbors. Multiple BBQs, multiple fireworks displays, and way too much food. Sam wanted to get some top-shelf steaks to celebrate her birthday dinner. Ray's the Steaks in Arlington was perfect. I'd been to Ray's HellBurger before, and the Steaks had an equally impressive reputation, and they didn't disappoint. Capital Grille quality at Outback prices, and zero pretentiousness. Do it.

Sam made her own birthday cake:


This weekend is looking to be another good celebration of summertime. One housewarming, one (dual) birthday party, and a BBQ with some old friends. Screw Michelob. Weekends were made for grillin'!

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Finally. A TRUE time waster! This one is so easy, but so addictive at the same time. Two button controls: left arrow, right arrow. Rotate.

Six Degrees of Black Sabbath. Pick two musicians, and see how they're connected. Just like the Kevin Bacon game, without the Bacon.

TheSmokingGun has a contest, built from the game Clue: identify which criminal used which weapon when they were arrested for assault. Hurry, though, the contest ends at 6pm EDT!

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Boston's Barstool Sports has the best salute to the 4th of July and the good ol' US of A. I wish I could come up with stuff like this.

My kind of party.

Not-so-much my kind of Capt. America burrito party.

I kissed a lot of girls these past couple weeks. Or imagined so, at least.

Child stars and how they've (not?) changed.

Lots of reasons for non-soccer fans to watch the World Cup (for real).

One more reason to cheer for soccer:


I'll fess to it though, here's the real reason why I've been watching the World Cup.


Cool optical illusion in real-life:

Now I understand!


Final thought ... your weekend may start when this cycle completes...


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i'm still not so sure

We're in the middle of a product delivery at work. Anyone in IT knows what that means: crunch time. Anyone working with the gubmint also knows: documentation. We do IT for the gubmint, so we've got the worst of both worlds. Too much to do, and too much to doc, and nowhere near enough time for either.

The first part of the delivery is a whole test cycle. A bunch of (mostly) non-technical people review and evaluate the software. I've been working at a remote site all week, coordinating the test environment, doing docs, and working with the test team.

I've been getting in before sunrise, working in the dark dingy dreary blah government facility all day, and getting out late in the evening. I'm starting to feel like a vampire. My normal too-pale complexion has faded to almost clear. I snuck out a bit early this afternoon, and my arm started smoldering when the sunlight hit it thru the truck window.

Anyway, enough whining. I wasn't sure if I was going to survive the week, but I made it. Everything is in place now, and things should be calmed a lot next week during the actual test process. The biggest worry is that some of the test team really don't fully understand what we do, so we're not so sure they can provide legitimate review. It'll be a pain if we're jammed up over some imaginary issue.

Outside of the office things have been rather uneventful this week. I'm really happy that the heavy workload at the office happened to fall between semesters at school. I've got one more week off before classes start up again. Things should be back to normal by that time.

We did get a chance to hit up the VA State Fair last weekend, and it was a really good time. We met up with my sis and a couple family friends, too. Mother Nature tried her best to send us home early, but she didn't know who she was dealing with. That little bit of a rainstorm didn't do anything but get our socks wet. By around 9pm, we had most of the fairground to ourselves.

There was all sorts of rides, attractions, freakshow stuff, sales shills, and a whole slew of 4H farmland stuff. The most entertaining part of the day was the pig races.... for real. They loaded up a few gates of pigs, then released them to run around the track to the food dishes at the finish line. A few sets were fast & loud, then they brought out these HUGE potbelly pigs that barely fit into the starting pen. The race started, and they barely moved. Two minutes into the race,they were rounding the first corner, and 4 of the 5 had to stop to relieve themselves on the track. A pavilion full of rednecks, moms, kids, and babies got to see pig poo. That's quality entertainment!

We also attended BackToSchool night for Kid4. It's cool to see the teachers face-to-face, and the kids are happy to know they were represented, but the whole evening is rather bleh. The teachers meet 250 parents in two hours, which is completely overwhelming, especially after they've already spent the whole day dealing with 250 students. Each class visit is approx 8 minutes of auctioneering speech about the syllabus and homework and grading structure and overall class direction.

Kid4 is in 8th grade now, high school freshman next year. All the HS BtS nights in the county are held on the same day, so for the rest of their times Kid3 & Kid4 will overlap. This translates to only having to attend FOUR MORE BtS NIGHTS EVER! Ever ever ever!

A science project comic for ya: (click to enlarge)


This weekend I'm looking forward to a bit of grown up time. We're taking my father-in-law & his wife to dinner at the Occidental in DC. Whoooohoooo for dinner in a suit! I'm totally stoked about it; never been before, but it looks awesome. After dinner, we've got tickets to see Jersey Boys at the National Theatre. Not the Jerky Boys, JerZEE Boys. Stage show about Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.

BTW, since Frankie Valli was one of the four members of the group, shouldn't it have been FV and the Three Other Seasons? I know that sounds 'tarded, but it's bothered me for a long long time.

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Trippy wobbly line drawing stuff.

Max Connect laser puzzles.

Name that Band Logo. I thought I had skillz, but daaaaamn was I wrong. I suck.

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Thanks, Jacob, I really don't like Bono either. Not since he started wearing the buggy glasses. Ugh.


WIN (almost) then FAIL:


More fail!


This may be the most intellectual analysis of why marijuana should remain illegal.

In case you hadn't realized, there are at least 15 basic variances between men & women.

The whole entire internet in 4 minutes:


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totally unprepared

What would Tyler Durdin do if he started a band? He'd name it Fight Cloud, and enter the Gorilla Music local music contest. Then he'd tell all of you lemmings to go cast a vote in their favor. Do it now. I'll wait. For real, I'm not writing another word til you do it.

First rule of Fight Cloud is that you don't talk about Fight Cloud. (I stole your joke, Steve.)

OK, thanks for voting. Love ya long time for it.

So I've got another triathlon coming up on Sunday morning. This is my second of the year, and third one ever. I've been training most of the year for this one, and I was going to be in top shape, ready to kick some tri-tail. Since the title of this post is UN-prepared, you can guess where this is going.

I'm more nervous about this one than either of the two prior. I think bc I have my expectations set pretty high. Up until quite recently, I was feeling totally on point. The past couple of weeks have kicked my confidence in the nads though.

My pool closed for 2 weeks for an annual cleaning. Morning swim regimen broken.

I've been working at a couple remote sites this week, which broke both my ride-to-work and eat-a-healthy-lunch habit. I did manage one ride down to the lab in Merrifield, but no way I'm riding all the way to Bolling AFB. Screw the distance, no way in Hell am I taking my bike into Anacostia.

On top of an overloaded week in the office, I had all my final exams too. I'm feeling good about the results, and feeling better that I'm on break before the start of the next semester, but dammmmmmn I just want to get back on my bike.

Now I feel fat & lazy & unprepared & out of focus & pretty much just scared of effing up on Sunday morning.

BTW - The tri starts early early early on Sunday. The finish line is in the parking lot across from Jimmy's Old Town. Here's your open invitation to join us for liquid lunch after the race and before the 1pm games kickoff.

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Splitter!

I haven't shared a racing game in a long while. Maybe bc a lot of them suck.

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I bet it doesn't start laying cash on the table after a few beers, either.


Chris Coooooooley has a great story about football, punters, stadiums, and urination.

Barstool Sports celebrates all of the assclownery of this past NFL off-season.

Whoa. Trippy. And the blues & greens are actually the same color. For reals. Still don't believe me? Check it here. (click pic for full image)


Best vids of criminals getting whipped by their victims.

Highs & lows of becoming a man. I still haven't figured shit out. (click pic for full image)

(graph was found somewhere on MadAtoms)

Little dude is a little bit ahead of the curve in becoming a man:


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i don't even know where to start

Yeah, I know that I write about being busy all the time, but this time I'm serious. These past two weeks have just about worn me out.

We traveled to Ohio last week for my Uncle David's funeral. He'd been fighting hard against some health issues for a couple of years, and has a chance to rest now.

We used to play basketball at all the family reunions; the uncles vs. the nephews. All us kids thought we were the shiznit bc we could run circles around the old farts. All we had was youth, though, they had experience and brains and teamwork and discipline that actually wins games. They whipped us nearly every time.

It was like the story of the old bull & the young bull, looking at a bunch of cows in the next field. Young'un says "Hey, let's run down & jump that fence and do the dirty with one or two of those cows!" Old bull says "I'd rather stroll down to the gate over there and take care of all those cows."

Dave used to drive me crazy when we played ball. He'd be dressed in blue jeans and loafers, toothpick in the side of his mouth, "Old Fart" ball cap turned backwards on his head. Looked like he was ready to change the oil in the car, not like he was playing full-court with the kids. He made me crazy bc he was always in the right place at the right time on defense, picking up all the loose balls. He made me crazier with his outside shot - it was MONEY. He'd put the ball up from all over the court, and it was the sweetest, gentlest shot, every time.

And he smiled past the toothpick when he shot, well before it went in the basket, bc he already knew it was good.

Thanks for helping me learn to look for the gate, Uncle Dave.

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Recapping the rest of these couple weeks....

School is slamming me hard this semester. I've got a week & a half before getting a small break before starting the fall term. These two classes have posed the heaviest workload I've had in the past 3 years.

The kids are all fully back in school now too. They're still happy about seeing their friends, and haven't really gotten too much homework yet.

Kid1 has turned in notice down at the Hole. He got promoted from shift manager to assistant manager at the ice cream shop, and got a decent raise to go along with it. I'm totally proud of the work that he's been doing, even though I'm nervous that the extra money might take his focus away from school.

Before the trip to Ohio, I ran a short triathlon in Reston. It was a bit of a surprise; we were out riding one morning, and found out the race was taking place the following morning. After a couple quick phone calls & emails, we all got invitations to race. I felt really good, but my run is still the weakest point. I've got another, more official, race coming in a couple weeks, and I'm hoping I can step it up a little bit before then.

This past weekend was top shelf. We did the whole day Saturday at the Buffett lot party, our group of 20 sharing smiles and drinks with 25,000 of our closest friends. With no recovery time, Sunday was Block Party IV. The crowd only measures in the hundreds, but we do our best to shut down the whole neighborhood. Augur treated us to another excellent show in the afternoon before heading over to headline Jimmy's later in the evening.

I need a rest.

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Here's a creative puzzle game that'll force you to think a bit. The game is good, the puzzles are challenging, and there's cute little toons between levels. With all this intelligence focused on the game, no wonder the title is about as dumb as you can get: Blocks with Letters On.

Perfect Balance is kinna like Tetris on a teeny tiny little platform.

One for the simpletons: mini-golf + human cannon = ragdoll fun!

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There's a reason some kids are slow:


The interwebs should come with warnings.

Superpenis!

(from EatLiver.com)

Jen sent a video. I watched a different one. The video starts here:


This is why you're fat. Mmmmmmhmmmmmm; breakfast pizza, complete with gravy, bacon, & eggs.

I'm on a Boat, Navy-style. This either a really good home-made vid by a bunch of bored sailors, OR it's a really good ad paid for by the Navy. (My gut tells me it was sanctioned. The editing looks professional, and getting footage from inside and outside the helicopter seems a bit tough to pull off for a video prank.)


A little pedo-bear, just for you Mikey...


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my give-an-effometer is kinna low this week

The meter is barely moving:


Again, with the crazy week at the office. The IT guys are still on a witch hunt, trying to prove that there are bad employees lurking in the office, wasting the interwebs connection. They're spying on everyone, and sending out nasty-grams to anybody who connects to facebook, pandora, or even BLOGGER! (maybe I'm using that as an excuse for my tardiness today, maybe not.)

(Shut up, Mikey, I said tard-i-ness not 'tard-ness.)

We've been trying and trying and trying to explain that the connection just can't handle the job. The office has a 7Mb pipe, shared between all 100+ people. As a comparison, I have a 20Mb connection in my basement. C'mon, my kids can do that math.

My entire day was spent spinning in circles at 100mph, and getting nothing done. I tried to leave early, and still couldn't do it. Working late without an accomplishment really blows chunks.

Outside the office, though, things have been cruising pretty well. A couple of the Fam have been visiting from out of town, and we got to hang out a bit to laugh and break bread, and then laugh at the broken bread.

Kid1 is back to school this week. Not down at the University, but here at the community college. It would have been cool if he figured out a way to go back to campus, but we all know that didn't work. Registering for, and getting his tail into class at the CommColl is the best decision he could have made given the parameters of his situation. Plus he's been holding two jobs all summer long. That boy just might dig himself out of the hole after all.

Kid3 attended his Freshman Orientation at the high school yesterday. He switched school zones over the summer when he moved into his dad's house, so the orientation was both to the new school and to a a whole rack of new kids.

The girls have both been working full time all week, rehearsing for the ColorGuard routines. They've got all day practice with the band, with a couple evening practices thrown in just to make sure they don't get too much rest before summer is over.

All the kids are back to school just after Labor Day, so you know they're just thrilled.

My school has been whipping my tail this semester. Heavy work load, combined with an actual degree of difficulty, I've been having to put legitimate effort into it recently. No worries, I can shoulder the load for another couple weeks to finish the summer semester, it's just a temporary PITA.

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It sounds simple, there's Just One Level, but grrrrrrrrrr ....

This one is a real winner. Scrabble, typing, speed, and pressure, all in a simple little game. Try it. You think it'll suck, but it's real sneaky.

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Hahahahahaha! From start to finish, they've got it mapped!

Toothbrushin' was never so much fun.
Um, yeah.... Jules, this makes me kinna UNcomfortable.


mmmmmm.....children in their tummy!


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another quickie

My scheds are all out-of-whack this week. The girls are down in NC at their grandma's beach house, and the boys are off doing their own thing. The house has been relatively quiet all week. I wish it was as much fun and games as it sounds, though.

I've been working on a big PITA project in the office for the past couple of weeks. It's finally wrapping up this weekend. I stayed home from work all day today, but working late night tonight and all day tomorrow. Fun stuff.

I didn't even get to enjoy my day at home (other than adding jalepeno Doritos to my toasted PB&J sandwich for lunch). I spent the day working on yardwork and schoolwork. I'm sooooooo tired of writing term papers. Wah.

I finally got registered for a 2009 triathlon. I effed up the registration for the Luray race by waiting too long. I'm set & ready to go in the Taylor Love race, except for planning the afterparty. The finish line is right across the street from Jimmy's....

With all the late hours I've been working at the office, I've been riding home in more and more traffic. Realizing more and more that people are DUMB.

The other day, I'm on the bike trail, crossing a 4-lane 45mph highway, Sterling Blvd. I have a stop sign, and I'm not inclined to get smashed, so I've stopped. Genius in the beige minivan stops to wave me across.

Gee, that's nice, but there's another lane of traffic flying right past the driver's window of her dumb minivan ass. So I keep sitting at my stop sign, and she keeps waving me across, with bigger and bigger arm motions, the rest of the traffic keeps zipping past her, and the cars behind her start blowing their horns. After a minute, she decides that she'll be on her way, and gives me a huge shoulder-shrug while driving past. 100% completely oblivious that she was nicing me into becoming the hood ornament on an F-150.

Second pet peeve of the week - If you can't drive it, park it.

Most of the roads around here are comprised of nice, wide lanes. I hear they drive trucks on these roads sometimes. Big trucks, like with trailers and deliveries and stuff. I'd guess that the average lane width is at least 12' wide, maybe more even.

So don't drive in my blind spot, just pass already and quit hovering. Don't drive on the wrong side of the road when you finally get the nads to pass me.

There's plenty of room for both of us, honest. Unless you're driving Tony's big Budweiser straight truck, we can all fit. There's room for your 6' wide Hyundai, my 18" bike, the window tray from Sonic, and the dog from Vacation still tied to the bumper.

If you can't share that space, park your POS and call a taxi.

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Only one game this week, but totally worth it. Red Remover will challenge your brains and dexterity, as well as your will to focus on working this afternoon.

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The Smoking Gun tracks down the losers (creative, yes, but still losers) involved in PrankNet. Besides reading about all of their pranks, the best part of this story is the number of times the words "...in his mom's house..." are written.

SP (you'll always be "SP" to me) has some help with your online shopping: things to avoid! Stay far, far away from Robert in Huntsville. He's trying to impargent womens.

Doesn't matter... your job is NOT this awful.

How much do can you drink before you die? Use this simple web-app to figure it out cocktail-by-cocktail.

Barstool Sports simplifies things a little bit this week: celebrating candy & lollipops. I love a good sucker.

Sometimes it's really easy to spot a virgin...


Why is this news? Why is anyone surprised? Everyone spies on everyone, allies or enemies. That's just the way it is.

The 100 most offensive jokes ever!

Better than Roxanne's Revenge, the Fairfax Rap Response to the Arlington Rap!


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they're baaaaack

I've got a few shout-outs to share in this week's Waster...

As you know, we were out last week doing the college tour circuit with Kid2.

While we were gone, we had the guys from BG Interior Remodeling come in and take care of a few things. They repainted the foyer, stairway, and most of the upstairs; and they also installed a new front door. I've known these guys forever, and their work is awesome, so give 'em a call. If you're looking to have any remodeling done, or even modeled for a first time, they'll take care of ya!

TONIGHT ! ! !
The Pocket Band is playing at the Old Brogue in Great Falls. Little bit of funk, little bit of rock, a big dose of reggae, and a whole lotta good times. I'll be there from approx "early" to sometime around "late".

Jules (I've been in love with that angel's voice since way before she sang at my wedding), and the Backseat Betties have two shows coming up.... 24 April at Auld Shebeen and 25 April right in Herndon at the new Breakers Sky Lounge. I've got kidstuff both days, so I've got to pass. *sniffle*

Now that I'm done shilling for my friends, lemme tell you about the college trip. In a word: BUSY.

We did a circuit around the whole state of VA. We got to visit with a few friends around the way, but also toured ODU, VaWesleyan, CNU, Wm & Mary, Longwood, Sweet Briar, Radford, Tech, and JMU. There are still a couple more local schools on the itinerary in the coming weeks, too.

It was a productive week, but tiring. Kid2 got a good feel for a lot of schools: some with a good vibe and others not-so-good. That was exactly the purpose of the trip, though. She's still early in the college process, so she's just figuring out where to apply in the fall. An interesting side effect of the trip was Kids3 & 4 getting the exposure to the schools, and starting to entertain some thoughts of their own.

But the Waster has suffered. Last week, no chance of posting anything. I was scrambling just to stay connected to the real world, much less provide your Friday afternoon entertainment. This week, I've been playing catch-up at the office, and I'm *almost* to the point of being able to see my desk again.

Plus, I started back to school this week, after taking the past semester off. Ugh. I'm sooooo out of practice. I'm taking 9 credit hours, and they totally whipped my tail. I spent a couple days of all-day-work followed by all-night-school, and was burned out by THU evening. I'll be better prepped for class next week.

But for now, I'm done. No more work, no more school, nothing but a bunch of good music in my future tonight! Happy Friday!

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It's an all Nintendo afternoon here on the Waster.... Starting from last week, I forgot to include the link to the Donkey Kong game. Jacob sent the link, I wrote about it, but forgot the critical piece of information. Apologies to the 15 die-hard, cross-handed, DK fans out there who took the time to remind me what a dumb-ass I can be sometimes. Oops.

And allllll the rest of the Mario games right here forya!

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UPDATED! Crime scene and hospital photos of the ShamPow! guy's fight in FL!

Mike's going to hell. Click here if you wanna catch a ride on his bus.

Do not order these jeans! They will fck up your legs!
(found on PhotoshopDisasters)

Awwwwww....they were so young and innocent....


I love boobies!!!!! (kinda sorta safe for the office)

Top 10 celebrity pervs of all time.

Ha!

Don't say nobody ever warned you.

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ODU sucks

Whoooooops!
(I've seen this highlight about 400 times already, and I'm still giggling.)


With NCAA basketball tourney going on right now, I'm sure most of you don't need any help wasting the afternoon. I'm not wasting much time writing today, either. So here's the quick and dirty of the week in Wasterland...

My struggles with ODU continue. The local campus is closing in May. All the advisors there are busy managing the existing students that are being displaced, so they're not meeting with any new students. I've been trying to extract details with a few less-than-responsive people at other campus locations.

The biggest problem: ODU has a large number of "distance learning" programs, but "distance learning" is a misnomer. Students still need to attend class, on campus, at a specific time. The class is taught by a "distance professor" via streaming video. The intent of the program is to save ODU money, rather than providing a benefit to adult students with tight schedules.

I'm pretty sure that I'm scratching ODU, although I haven't made the final decision just yet.

Kid1 got a job!!!!
He started working at DQ the other day. I'm not sure he'll be able to make enough to pay his tuition by the end of the semester, but it's a move in the right direction.

Kids2,3,& 4 all had interims come home from school.... and they're all kicking serious tail. All 3 have As & Bs in every single class. It's really awkward at home now, b/c I don't have anything to yell about.

Happy good weekend!

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Amanda shares her feelings on the banking industry buyout. (requires registration, just use a fake email address.)

Worst game ever. Simple. Boring. Crappy graphics. Bad music.
I'll feel a little extra rewarhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifd knowing that you wasted your worktime for this.

heh-heh... they said "wood".

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I've gotten a LOT of submissions over the past couple of weeks, which I totally appreciate. I do have to weed out some of the flotsam though. Seth found the perfect way for you to self-filter your submissions: top 99 things on the interwebs that you should have already seen 99 times. If your great find is on the list, you're too effing late. Send it to Aunt Millie in NH instead.

Popcorn Sutton is king of the moonshiners, redneck to the core, and funny as shit! And dead, too.


Julie says your tattoos suck!

Find even more tattoo suck here.

Jimmy sent me a pic that his mom snapped when he was still in pre-school...


I got all excited when Laura sent me this dirty link. I thought she was using my definition of the word.

Nothin' says "love" more than wearing it on your t-shirt (in your mug shot). Thanks Mike!



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obamacon

I don't always whine and complain about life, kids, work, and politics. Sometimes, I just want to be nice.

A friend of mine lost her grandma over the holidays. Gram suffered from Parkinson's for a long time before passing. Kristin is doing a fundraiser walk in NY to raise money to find a cure. This edition of the waster is NOT free, please click the link and make a donation. (btw - gram was a bit of a hottie in her day.)

OK, done with the niceties now. This week has been HELL.

The big snowstorm in the middle of the week would normally have put a smile on my face. I skipped work for two days, but filled the time by working on a huge side job that I fell into. I also did a bit of stuff around my house, and my momma's house too. I think I worked more playing hookie for two days than I would have if I just took my monkey-ass into the office. Plus, I got a flat tire on my truck in the ice on WED. Ugh.

Side job info - me and a couple friends are setting up the entire network infrastructure for a 150 student private school up the road. Give me a holler if you want to hire us to come wreck your computers, too. For real.

Kid1 is still down at school. He told me he registered for a couple more classes, enough to be considered full time, and be allowed to keep his FinAid and dorm room. I haven't seen the records yet, so I'm not sure how all the money shook out for him. All I can do is wait and watch.

Kids2,3,and4 are all doing well in school and at home. None of them are on my fighting side at the moment. Kinda cool that I'm not mad at any of 'em right now. It makes me wonder what they've done that I don't know about yet. Anyway, report cards come out next Friday... we'll see who stays on my good side after that.

The weekend is looking pretty laid back. A couple of the kids are gone tonight and tomorrow, so we've only got #4 for dinner tonight - we'll find something cool to do. Sunday is my nephew's 16th bday party, so we're making a trip to hang out with the fam for the day. Sunday night, we'll be hanging w/ the neighbors for a bit of superbowl festivities.

Happy Weekend!

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Obamacon Me! The galleries are awesome, plus you can make your own!

Mikey found a little bit of Superbowl spirit in this game.

And this one came from a couple of people, but I couldn't get it to load. See if you have better luck here.

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Hacking highway signs: Zombies ahead!

Google helps you find out if your ISP is interfering with your traffic. Test your connections to the tubes of the interwebs here.

I totally understand the iPhone now.


Mikey is gonna burn for this one. (sorry for giggling. I really am 12 years old sometimes.)

Finally, WTF? Eric's friends are WEIRD. It gets good after the first minute.


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just a few more days...

Things seem to have been rolling from one focus to another, with not a lot of down time in the middle. Thanksgiving -> Christmas -> New Years -> Back to School -> now, which is a long weekend culminating with Obama's inauguration on Tuesday. It just makes the time seem to zip past, without much savoring of the experience.

I'm in the middle of another busy week again. I know everyone's tired of hearing me whine about it all, so I'll keep the details to myself. Basically, day job is really busy. Side job is really really busy. (Me & a few friends are upgrading the network for a private school). Kids are making me crazy, especially now b/c of midterms. Kid1 still has plans to head back to school tomorrow evening.

Now for the fun and not-so-busy stuff: we went to the Metallica show last night. I hadn't seen them in many many years, and they put on a hella good show. We didn't have floor tix, although my buddy and his girl knew one of the security guys and got access. The stage was set in the middle of the arena, and the band was hooked up wireless so they could work all around. Lars' drum kit was on circular riser right in the center of the stage; the riser rotated between each set.

Overall score: 9.5 out of 10. They lost .5 from my judging b/c they played "One" too early in the evening. I'm sure James knows it's my favorite, and should have waited to bring it out in the closing set.

I took vaca today, recovering from the show last night and leading into the long weekend. I've got Mon & Tues off next week, too. We're heading up to PA for a couple of days skiing with the kids. They've never been, and I've only done it a couple of times, so I'm expecting at least one trip to the First Aid Station. It'll be a good time, and I'm totally stoked to make my first faceplant in the snow.

We'll be back home in time to watch the Inauguration. I thought for a while about heading downtown, and just couldn't really justify it. Things are going to be way crazy, and the weather is going to be balls-out cold, so we decided to have a few friends over during the day and just watch the show on TV. Good times, good people, and just a few more days to good riddance to bad rubbish.

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Donations have been really weak lately... get out there and find me some goodies, dammit!

Scriball is annoyingly easy, until you realize that it's so effing difficult.

Why do cute little kittens have to turn into cats?

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Jules sent this one... she found a site that is collecting all the tards for us in one place. It's much easier to laugh at 'em when they're in bunches. You Suck at Craig's List.

Oh, look! Another tard!

Not a tard at all. I don't care a lick if we missed the holiday or if the season has passed; I'm jealous of the creativity here. Wow. Just wow.

Duh of fortune:


One more thought before I go.... please be safe. Don't play with fire, don't run with scissors, and definitely:
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back to the real world

Back to the real world this week. *sigh*

After a barely-working week at Christmas, and another barely-working week at New Years, I've really been scrambling to get caught up and organized. Things are getting closer to controlled, but I'm just not quite there yet. I've got a busy afternoon ahead of me, and I'm just scratching this post out to keep the whiners from complaining about the fact that the FRIDAY Waster has been a misnomer over the holidays.

The 3 younger kids are almost all back in school now, and doing the daily winter prayer for snow. I remember a whole series of superstitions that were supposed to bring winter weather and shut down school. I don't remember if throwing ice cubes on the front lawn ever actually worked, but dammit it was worth a try. There was something else about wearing pajamas backwards or inside out, but the only thing that ever produced was a bad night's sleep and a rash from the wrong parts of the jammies rubbing on the wrong parts of the berries.

Kid1 is a different story. Just before my holiday hiatus, I was trying and trying to find out what his grades were for the fall semester. After bringing home weak grades during freshman semesters 1 & 2, his results were looking even weaker during soph 1. Halfway thru the semester, he heard the news that if he had a third strike, I wouldn't be sending another check to college.

Well, I'm not sending a check.

I don't even know how bad the grades were, actually. He wouldn't even admit any details. He simply told me that I had one less thing to worry about paying for, and that he didn't want to confess the actual GPA results.

I'm totally struggling with this whole situation. On one hand, I've busted my tail to provide him the opportunities that I never took advantage of. I don't want to yank that opportunity away. On the other hand, it's stupid for me continue to do my part (pay) while he doesn't come thru on his part of the deal (study). I use the analogy of buying lunch at a drive thru: I bought him Combo #5, super-sized, and even added an apple pie. He threw the burger out the window, so I drove back around and bought a second meal. I even drove around a third time, to the same result. I'm not buying any more cheeseburgers, until after I know he's not going to throw food out the window anymore.

So like I said a minute ago, *sigh*

On the flip side of the coin, I've got good school news, too. After way too much time invested in my basement at 2am, I finally met all requirements to get my Associates degree in CIS...with a 4.0 GPA too. I know it's only the 2-year degree, but it's my first reward after so much effort, and I'm damn proud of it. I'm looking at it like it's halftime, b/c I'm continuing on to get my Bachelors. It may be unusual to celebrate my degree with an $8 beer, a greasy bratwurst, and a stale pretzel with no salt and lots n lots of mustard, but dammit, that's how you observe halftime. All I need now is a 20 minute wait to take a leak, and I'll be ready for the second half.

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This zombie game has been showing up all over the place. I personally could do without, and intentionally didn't include it in the last Waster. It kept coming back, and I'm starting to wonder why I'm the only one that doesn't like it. (From a geek perspective, the game is amazingly efficient. But we're here to waste time, not discuss code logic.)

So simple, but so totally frustrating. Similar to boomstick, here's BOOMSHINE.

I do like ninjas. It's a repeat offender on the Waster, and totally worth it.

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Every site and every blog seems to have a "top 10 of 2008" list of some sort or another. Some lists are cool, some are funny, some make you think a bit, and some just really kinda suck monkey nads. Here is a monster list of links to all those lists.



I love Trent Reznor. He just "accidentally" posted 400Gb of NIN live footage on the interwebs, for all the world to see and play with.

Eloquence in its finest hour (since Palin): "So I think in many ways, you know, we want to have all kinds of different voices, you know, representing us, and I think what I bring to it is, you know, my experience as a mother, as a woman, as a lawyer, you know, I've been an education activist for the last six years here, and, you know, I've written seven books – two on the Constitution, two on American politics. So obviously, you know, we have different strengths and weaknesses."
- - Caroline Kennedy, in an interview with a UK newspaper

Seca found a bunch of things that make you go hmmmm...

I think Mikey has problems than he lets on...


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cool to be an american again

The Onion's first true article.

I listened McCain's concession speech again, this time without my beermuffs on.... I think he's a touch more bitter than we originally thought.

Wow. An amazing / cool / surprising / scary / exciting election. I love it. Whether you agree politically or not is immaterial, we all witnessed history this week, and that's something to tell your grandkids about.

Election day was a royal pain for me, if you remember, although I was rather impressed with the response to the call for interaction. I didn't think most of you were voters, seeing the high percentage of felons. But this group pulled through, and I sincerely thank every single one of you who took the time to cast a vote.

I spent election night with a few friends. I didn't plan for the evening to go as late as it went, but really got sucked into the moment and totally carried away in the excitement and conversation. And a few moments afterwards, too. Maybe all the way til breakfast. mmmmmm....stale donuts. Thanks Mike!

We had some kidstuff to do on Wed night, so bedtime and schedules got shuffled again. The high school football team made the playoffs, so my daughter's color guard schedule has been extended a couple of weeks longer. Cool for the school, but we're not completely sure of the performance schedules moving forward. We'll find out soon, I'm sure.

We're heading down to see my kid at school this weekend. They've got their homecoming game on Saturday afternoon. I'm really looking for a good time down there. Things are still a little tense with his mid-term grades, but I don't doubt for a minute that he'll squeak thru with some decent results somehow. He may be shoveling snow and cleaning kitchens for his professors all winter, but I'm sure he'll figure a solution.

Speaking of midterms, I took my exams last night. Database management was by far the hardest exam I've taken in the past 3 years of schooling. Wow. Prof tried to smoke my ass, and came close, too. I love a challenge.

Happy weekend!

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Mikey sent me beer pong!

This game looked really cool, but wouldn't function properly in my JRE in firefox 2x on fedora 8. I was actually pretty disappointed. :(

This one worked, and it's a classic. I've posted it before, and every time it makes its way back to my inbox, I get sucked in again. I love me some boomshine.

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Yes, the election is over, but Linus still makes a number of good points.

Overseas, it's cool to be Americans again! I wanted to pull a quote from this article, but couldn't decide which to use. Select your own favorite.

Pass or fail?


Don't be so literal, dammit.


I know I had at least half of these cars at one time or another. (hint: click the pic for super-zoom)

MC Escher on google maps.

Colorblind?

...and one last bit of political stuff...
The fourth amendment protects against unreasonable search and seizure. There is a legal tap dance at the border. Understandable. There is a legitimate need to control who and what enters the country, but once you're actually inside the country, then the protection kicks into place. Things are changing, and the gubmint has re-defined "borders"... now the "border" includes anywhere within 100 miles of the line drawn on the map. Eh. 100 miles, not such a big deal.

Until you take a look at this map. Find your house. You may be in for a surprise.

Now, I don't personally do anything that I'm ashamed of. I don't cross-dress when I'm home alone. I don't kick the dogs too hard. I don't eat boogies. I might spank it more than I should, but only to healthy legal internet stuff, with birth records on file in Los Angeles. I still don't want the gubmint to legally be allowed to check up on me without a good reason.

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