things i learned while camping

Over Memorial Day weekend, we headed up to the Granite Hill Camping Reeeesort with a rack of family and friends. All told, our group numbered well over 30 people, half of which were kids, and more than a dozen tents. It was an awesome trip, with plenty of good times and adventures for every one of us.

I learned a bit on this trip; about myself, about the people with us, and about camping in general. Some of the lessons were harder than others. I figure sharing my experience might save some of you from going thru the same pain...

• A couple of my friends know a LOT more about camping than I ever will, and I'm forever grateful that they came to my rescue dozens of times over the weekend.
• There has to be some sort of mathematical formula to determine the cubic volume of how much to bring from home. I don't know the formula, but I'm pretty sure it grows exponentially every time you add another female or kid to the guest list.
• I'm really happy we brought all that stuff. For example: food and pillows.
• People live at campgrounds! Like, for permanent!
• Campground employees are not generally members of Mensa.
• Poison ivy likes me a lot more than I like poison ivy.
• Zanfel may work, but for $40 a tube, I'll just scratch.
• It's really funny to see people freaking out over little spiders, but then totally enthralled with the snake living in the tree roots next to base camp.
• Teenage girls, when separated from their daily routine, will dumb themselves down to "campgrond employee" level to get feed their addiction to flirting and attention.
• Do not play "The Washer Game" with a chick from Minnesota. If she suggests playing for money, just to make it interesting... RUN!!!!
• Cooking on charcoal tastes 100x better than cooking on gas.
• Cooking on charcoal takes 100x longer than cooking on gas.
• Surviving eighty kids singing Hannah Montana in the clubhouse at the karaoke party was one of the most challenging things I've ever attempted.
• The three hot Latinas sunbathing by the pool are not on a "girls-only camping trip".... they have husbands around somewhere.
• Kids are sticky, a fact which doesn't mix well with dirt, leaves, insects, grass, and other things that you see while camping.
• Kids generally have very weak marshmallow toasting skillz.
• Kids get a HUGE kick out of adults who will eat the burned-to-black marshmallow accidents. They also enjoy adults who will reach into the fire and eat the apple that the kid just threw into the pit.
• Ashes and splinters add texture and flavor to roasted apples after they've been pulled from the firepit.
• I can fit GlowStick bracelets through the holes in my earlobes.
• After sharing a full bottle of Jack and a half bottle of Jim, sharing a bottle of Venezuelan Rum is a very bad idea.
• Biking the hills of Pennsylvania is just a touch more difficult than biking the hills of VA. (btw - new personal max speed record on the bike: 45.1 mph!!!!)
• Campfire, beer, and a guitar combine to make everyone sing like professionals.
• When your camp-neighbors turn the lantern on inside their tent at 2am, that means they like your singing, too.
• We have the best friends. Ever.

Many thanks and much love to all of you who helped make this past weekend so much fun!

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Leslie found Waldo!

Drunken Master is neither my biography nor a Jackie Chan movie. In this instance, it's a halfway challenging bartending game.

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Good Girls - pay attention. iVillage has 10 tips you need to learn from Porn Stars. Trust me on this.

Jen (with Gordon Ramsay's help) made me cry. Gordon will swear at you, too.

A whole flock of flying dog pics! Oh, hell yes!

All "woman" should be owning this, especially woman of the etiquette! (credit withheld from submitter to avoid possible incrimination....)

10 awesome Sesame Street videos. I'm old, and I can still watch this show.

Sometimes soccer reminds me of professional wrestling:


More cartoonstuff; here are the biggest TNMT ripoffs.

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