this blog is not spam

(Thanks MurderBurger!)

Today is Bike to Work Day. I don't know if it's officially NATIONAL BtW day, or if it's just something made up here in NoVA. Don't care, really. I bike to work on most other days, so I'll play along with their game today too (especially when they're giving away free breakfast and t-shirts).

Biking to work makes me feel good in a couple different ways. Between family, work, school, and socializing, I don't have a lot time left over to carve out any exercise. Biking utilizes the commuting time to squeeze in a bit of a workout without too much of an additional time investment.

I've also got about 100 chilluns, so I drive a big ol' gas sucking SUV. Biking is a way of lying to myself about how good I'm being to the environment, and making up for the truck a little bit. I'm saving the planet from all the damage that I do.

Ever since the weather has started warming up, I've been intending to write an open letter to all the nice and polite drivers in the area. Seriously. There are a few, more than you think, really. When you're biking on the street, you get exposed to a lot of 'em.

We have a major bike trail in the area, the W&OD trail. It's a well maintained, rather scenic, smooth, easily accessible, friendly sort of bike trail. It connects a number of towns around the area, so it's great for commuting, too. By necessity, it has to intersect with a lot of different roads.

These intersections are where the nice & friendly people are easy to spot. (don't stop reading now, you don't know where I'm going with this yet.)

It's the law in VA for cars to yield to pedestrians or bikes that are in a crosswalk. It's also a pretty smart thing to do, since running over somebody can ruin your day and leave scratches, hair, and blood all over your car.

It's NOT the law to stop for bikes that will be in the crosswalk sometime in the future.

DON'T EFFING STOP WHEN YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EFFING STOP!!!!!!!

There are other cars on the road; some coming from the other direction, some driving behind you. You cannot control them. Unless you have some magic or telekinetic powers that let you stop everyone else on the road, you're just making it more dangerous. I understand, you're just trying to be nice. And I really do appreciate the thought. But you're not being safe.

Simple example, just from this morning. I'm on Crestview Rd, stopped in the turn lane, waiting to turn left onto the bike trail. The nice lady in the green minivan stops to let me go in front of her. The guy in the white pickup behind her has no idea why this minivan is stopping in the middle of the freakin' road. Car trouble? Lost? Stupid?

So he crosses the yellow line to go around this van that's blocking traffic, and winds up coming directly at me. I would have been so much safer if nice green minivan lady wasn't so nice and just drove as expected.

At most of the trail / road intersections, bicyclists have a stop sign. Van Buren even has a separate stoplight for the bike trail. Think for a minute about how 'tarded it is to stop at a green light, so the people with a red light can go ahead of you.

Next instance: Sterling Blvd. It's a 4 lane (two in each direction) highway, with traffic generally running close to 50mph. The bike trail has a stop sign; the highway does not.

At least a dozen times last summer, the nice driver stopped in the middle of the highway to let bicyclists cross. Again, I understand, and I really appreciate the gesture. You're forgetting about the OTHER lane of traffic, which is still flying past you. You're also forgetting about the people swerving to avoid your "stopped in the middle of the highway" car.

Remember, Ralphie's aunt was trying to be nice when she sent him the pink bunny pajamas, too. Don't be that nice to me, please.

(Yes, I do know that there are many many MANY bicyclists that are just as dangerous. They dno't play well with others. Most of them could do with getting clipped by a fender or two, and not too many tears would be shed over it.)

I don't believe in Peter Pan
Frankenstein or Superman
All I wanna do is....

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Puzzle, thinking, driving, reaction game: I Love Traffic!

I never make an important decision without consulting Benson first. Or the Magic 8-Ball if he's not available.

Cheers! Just like bartending, except you don't make any money and you get to go home with dry socks at the end of the night.

Parking Perfection 4(?? I don't remember 1, 2, or 3??)

Eddi and Tina sent me a winner.... This game combines strategy, coordination, breakfast meat, cruelty to animals, and odd British humour. Whoooohooooo!

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What not to wear when picking the kids up from day-care. Thanks for the advice, Mikey!


Here is a whole great big write up / discussion / argument / TMI about the portable Breathalyzers that the cops use on the side in DUI stops. (Way too much geek info here about the software coding of the devices.)

Scamming the Scammers. Every few months, I see another story on this topic. 419 scammers, who use the web to rip off stupid people and little old ladies, are the target of reverse-scamming. Whenever I finally finish my schooling, I'm spending my new-found free time on 419Eater.com. The stupid people of the world should get ripped off, but don't mess with little old ladies.

Dominic planted a seed in my head. I'm just wondering how this will affect whippets hitting the door at 20mph.


Jon found a really good, straightforward review of Absinthe varieties available in the US.

YouuuuuuuTuuuuuuube, the tripppppy alternative to watching plain ol' boring youtube videos. Watch Alice in Wonderland or play with your own favorite videos.

CraigsList wusses out.

An article for all you broke-ass guys out there... you still need to be nice to your lady, and she won't think you're a bum.

ONE MILLION DOLLARS! All you have to do is prove that you're psychic.

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