Tuesday, February 24, 2009


My youngest turns 13 this weekend. In my mind, she's still my baby girl. Kinna funny, bc Kid2 is coming up on 17, and she's still my baby girl, too.

She's a leap-year baby, so on off-years we pick and choose whether to celebrate on the 28th or the 1st. We do a bit larger party for the kids on their milestone birthdays, so being her 13th she gets the royal treatment. I must have had some leftover smoke in my system when I agreed to a two-day, overnight party for a dozen teenagers.

Seriously though, we've got reinforcements coming to help. A couple of my fam will be around with smelling salts to revive me if I get overwhelmed, and multiple rolls of duct tape for any of the wildings get too out of control.

It's cool to see the youngest growing up, actually. She's been the baby for so long, hearing her chat about boys and high school and driving makes her sound really old to me. In my mind, the change is drastic, but it's just been a natural progression just like it was in all the other kids.

Many years from now, when the ladies are 78 and 74 and hanging out at the bingo hall, don't mess with 'em. My 100 year old foot will be kicking your ass, cuz they'll still be my baby girls.

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Finally! A game for my smart readers! You'll both really enjoy this chess puzzle game!

Here's another one of those games that's actually a collection of little games. Cursor Chaos gives you about 5 seconds to figure out the rules and do what's necessary to complete each level. I guarantee you'll be perspiring in about a minute.

Kill the evil space chicken. How's that for a plotline?

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The best thing about teh internets is the anonymity that it provides. People share secrets in public that they don't tell their closest friends. I play my own little game and guess which of my friends are the anonymous posters. You know who you are, and now you know that *I* know who you are... posting secrets (post secret), sucking at life (eff my life), and banging all the worst dudes (sorry, mom). Thanks to Manda for the submission (I promise I won't tell your mom.)

Todd comes out of retirement to share this pic collection of strange people on the subway. The future is now.

I geeked out for a moment when I saw this computer.

Found in the "No Shit" department, Item 1.

...and Item 2.

A description and caricature of every guy you know. Ladies, you'll know exactly who fits what stereotypes. Guys, take notes. Please.

Todd steps up to the plate again with a video of all the people that DIDN'T get hurt in nasty accidents.

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

i love mushrooms!

Yes, this blog is called the "Friday Waster". Yes, today is Monday. I'm guilty, but I've got some splainin to do.
+ The blog ate my homework.
+ Everybody else is allowed to go to the party.
+ Sometimes, I just suck.
+ My mom said I had to be home by 9.
+ But truthfully:
The 1130 going-away luncheon at Jimmy's turned into happy hour at Jimmy's turned into meeting my neighbors and some Jager at Jimmys turned into a recap session in Conference Room 9.

Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, but I know...it's all Jimmy's fault.

Anyway, last week was one of the busiest weeks I've had in a long long time. The holiday weekend leading up to it was pretty cool. We had some free time to hang with the kids, and I also had the chance to get a lot done on that network job we've been working on. I didn't start my actual-working-in-the-office week last week until Wednesday. Looks great on paper, but I only had 3 days to do 5 days worth of work. Not such a good idea.

So let me ramble a bit about these past days...

SafeLite sucks. Not the local guys who actually do the work, but the fucktards that work in the corporate office. Recently I caught a rock and got a chip in the windshield of the truck. Under GEICO, this is a free repair.

GEICO calls SafeLite. Jeff Spicoli calls me to set the appointment. I can't wait for this guy's job to be outsourced. He loses all my info while we're talking, so I have to re-provide all the contact and policy info that GEICO already provided. A day or two later I find out that they lost my policy info again, have me scheduled for the wrong service at the wrong time. I escalate the trouble to the elite SafeLite customer support team.

By now, the local guys have contacted my office, gotten my direct number from the receptionist (bc SafeLite lost it a third time!), figured out what I want fixed, and set an appointment. One phone call, 45 seconds.

The morning of the repair, SafeLite Customer-(don't)Care calls me to apologize for having to deliver more bad news: they have to cancel my appointment bc the local shop is booked solid, and can't make it. Since I spent the entire week learning that the Corporate office is staffed by monkeys, I wasn't surprised a bit when the local guy showed up right on time, just like he said he would.

Alan - thanks for the good service. SafeLite corporate - bite my nads. GEICO - You've been good to me until now, but teaming with these idiots is a huge fuck up.

Good customer service...
Over the holiday weekend, I picked up a new LCD from The Big Screen Store. I do know a couple of the guys there (shout out to Corey and Essey!), but they're good to everyone, not just me. The shopping experience is the opposite of visiting one of the big-box stores: These guys know their business and products inside and out, and will take the time to help you find the right set-up for your theatre. All that, and better prices that MarkupCity or BestBox!

We signed the check on Saturday afternoon, of a holiday weekend. The delivery truck was in front of my house Monday morning, 20 minutes ahead of schedule. The guys did all the unpacking, basic assembly, and cleanup in a matter of minutes.(but not installation, although I think you can buy that as an extra)

Kidstuff, and the ongoing college drama:
Kid1 is still at school, but I'm not sure how, exactly.

The school hit me up for payment last THU, including a copy of the latest invoice. I know now that he did register for more classes, so he's officially a full time student and is allowed to keep his FinAid and remain on campus. However, he hasn't paid for anything yet. I dunno how long he can play it out before they change the locks on the dorm room and kick him out of class.

While I really don't like seeing the slow burn, it's a very interesting experiment to me. If he's trying to out-stubborn me, I know the outcome and he'll learn that lesson soon enough. If he's trying to out-wit the school, I really don't know where that will lead.

My buddy Dan just had his first kid Saturday morning. He has no idea....

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Are you old enough to remember Diamond Dave? What about vector-graphics asteroids for 25cents in the game room of the local swimming pool? If so, you will effing LOVE this game. (Many thanks to Joe, who is old enough...)

When Josh sent this in, I played it for a minute and thought it totally sucked. Bad graphics, simple gameplay, easy scoring. But this is a sneaky waster, and after a minute I was hooked. Check out the XGames of the supermarket, Shopping Cart Hero!

Lots of the tards receiving bailout money deserve to be slapped.

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Jules brings back memories of the old-school GDays crew, and all the losers they used to date.

The world's strongest magnets, and lots of nerdy stuff to do with 'em.

Ladies... top 10 "don't ever do this" list. (btw, the comments are just as entertaining)

Much love to Donna for finding a site dedicated to real vanity license plates found in the wild. Some good, some lame. I'm torn between two favorites: top-shelf creativity or creativity with boobies.

(Found on Sand & Cotton (along with a bunch of other fun stuff.)

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Friday, February 6, 2009

it's not a clown car!

We start the week with a barstool soliloquy about all the effed up people out there who spawn, then proceed to screw up their kids. Swimming upstream should be so much more difficult. (If you ignore all the other crap I send, please at least read this link. It might save you from effing up your kids lives.)

(Thanks for the pic, Jen!)

Octomom pisses me off. A lot. So much, I really can't even write about it. I thought about writing about it, then realized just how worked up I would get if I did. Besides, I'd have to swear a lot, and then the Waster wouldn't make it thru the email filters anymore.

End of rant, before starting.

I've been busting tail all this week and last. I'm doing a side project with a few friends, rolling out a computer network at a private school in the area. This is go-live weekend; crunch time. We're shutting down all the old systems this evening at 6pm, and when the teachers come back on Tuesday morning, they're expecting 100% transition to be done. There's a lot of work to complete between now and then....

Kid1 is still away at college. I haven't been able to get a straight detailed answer about his current status, but I've collected info from a lot of different sources. It's not looking good. He did register for additional classes, so he's qualified to stay on campus and doesn't have to start paying back his FinAid package. However.....he's in the hole for a couple thousand dollars right now.

It's really stressful watching him crash so very slowly.

Kid2 is away this weekend with the ColorGuard. They've got a competition down in NC, and even skipped out of school early to make the trip. I'm trying not to think of the trouble that 30 teenagers can get into when they're spending the weekend in a hotel 300 miles away from home. My only solace is that all the guys in the Guard are gay.

Kids3&4 are pretty much just hanging around the house for the weekend. They've got a couple little things schedule, but nothing out of the ordinary. Me and the FirstLady are trying to figure out what to do for V-day, but since we've got the monkeys with us it can't be too crazy. I'm thinking that as long as we just have some low-stress fam time, I'm cool with it.

Happy Presi-Valen-LongWeekend-Day!

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I wasn't sure if I should include this in the 'games' section or not....if you've got twitter, you can def play with it. If you don't, Cursebird is still a hella entertaining link.

Simple and entertaining billiards, with a couple variations.

Another simple and solid waster. Totally basic, and totally frustrating. Squeeze.

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The Periodic Table of Awesoments

Source has a bunch of other retarded crap, too.

Octomom isn't the only retard in the US.

I'm calling Joaquin's bullsht.


Heavy Metal Band Names:

One more clown car before we go. Ugh.

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Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Advertising, again: I love the sliders at the Hole (except when the bartenders are cranky and won't let me get a sampler plate). Read all the commercial stuff here, or go straight to the discount coupon here.

What does Google actually sell? How do they make so much money? Think about it....

I've been SLAMMED all day long. No time to write, no time to be creative, no time to think even. I know you're all disappointed now.

This is what I've written so far this week. Do your own editing...

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Automotivator is an even easier (de)motivational poster generator... you can even add pics from the web. It bothers me that they don't restrict access just to the creative people, but lots of things bother me.

Object - burn it all. Everything. All the trees, all the mans. I can smell the bacon.

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I shared the link last week describing how to hijack a road sign. I'm trying to figure out which of you was smart enough to actually follow the directions.

FML... eff my life.

Jules says eff the penguins, too. (I'm totally ordering a t-shirt.)

Money management info about reducing credit card costs. For real. This math stuff can work in your favor, if you just pay attention to the details. Check it out here.

Enough with that crap... here's some serious and useful information on personal grooming and hairstyles. Very personal, if you catch my drift. Tastefully done, and completely safe for work, too.

Yes, there can be too much of a good thing.

A completely SFW interview with the Hedgehog! (He's 55 years old, btw.)

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