quick and dirty for the holidays

School's out, I'm on vacation til January, and the family is all in town.  Start the holidays!!!

Joe and Celeste drove up from Kentucky on Tuesday.  Long drive, but safe trip though.  They've done birthdays with his mom's fam, and they're doing Christmas stuff with her mom's fam tomorrow.  They're meeting up with us on the afternoon of Christmas day.  This is their first year trying to balance so many houses, so I'm sure it'll be a challenge.

We have the shared-holiday down to a science though.  Since the actual holiday is always a jumble of super-hectic activity, we just do Christmas early.  Regardless of the date on the calendar, it's good family time without all the time constraints.

Missy and the kids started Friday night by baking and decorating a whole rack of cookies.  These were FoodChannel quality cookies, too.  Win-me-ten-thousand-dollars cookies.

The adventure didn't stop when the cookies were finished.  Sam and her bf got in a car wreck late that night.  They're both OK, he got a couple stitches and they both got a whole rack of bruises, but nothing permanent.  I did have the pleasure of answering that 1am phone call telling me she was in a car wreck.  We spent the whole night in the ER, but sadly I missed watching when they dug this piece of glass out of his face:

Saturday was still fun, but thankfully with a lot less excitement.  We had reallllly tasty dinner down in Alexandria at Columbia Firehouse.  It's a top-notch restaurant built into what used to be a for-real fire station. The original building dates from 1883, and it's still got the classic feel to it.  

After dinner, we went across the river to the National Harbor for a bit.  They've got a lot of holiday stuff to check out:  light shows, giant Christmas trees, dancing fountains... it's all really fun freebie stuff.  Not enough to fill an entire evening, or to do year-after-year, but definitely worth the trip at least once.  (We didn't do the ICE! displays, bc $30 each, times the size of my crew, gets a bit expensive.  Just didn't seem worth the reward.)

Once we finished all the running around, we had a late night gift exchange back at the house.  Everybody in the fam really gets into gift-giving; finding the right present to deliver a big smile.  As a result, I think we all made out like bandits.  :)

Over the coming days, we've got a whole rack of Christmases to celebrate.  We'll be running around the DC area doing the holidays with all the different branches of a big ol' family tree.

Have a safe and happy holiday!

= = = = = = = = = =

Bloons, Christmatized.

The best part about the 12 Holes of Christmas (besides the Tiger Woods jokes) is being able to color your balls.

= = = = = = = = = =

Pam says have a classy Christmas.

Jess sent in the 1811 version of the Urban Dictionary.  Captain Grose's "Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue." I'm happy that sort of buckish language has progressed, bc I'd have a heckuva a time not giggling whenever I mention my twiddle-diddles.

The classic:  Drowning Pool "Bodies (Let the Bodies Hit the Floor)"

The remix:  TouchCat gives us Lolita the Parrot rocking a spot-on cover.

Um, I'm not sure how Gina's doing things in TX, but I'm not up for much of mobile-anything in the back of a white van.

Everything but secks.

Simple and accurate.  Worst part is, I don't even offer one.  Missy has to deal with me in fractions.

I've had this in my inbox for a while, and I'm not sure exactly why I think it's so awesome.  Maybe she reminds me of someone.  Maybe it's just really cool.  Maybe this is how Penthouse Forums appear in my head.  

Closing this week with my all time favorite Christmas image.  To me, nothing says Christmas more than watching the presents open their children by the tree.

= = = = = = = = = =

done done done done DONE

I've been gone for a while.  I've been getting whipped by my schoolwork this entire semester.  Whipped hard, too, with no SafeWord to loosen the straps when things got a little out of control.

It was worth it though.  Last weekend, I finished my senior project.  103 pages of tension, sweat, and bloody keyboarding.  Earlier this week, I completed my final final.  Say that with me:  "final final."  No more exams, EVAR!  I am one-hundred-per-cent, now and forever, i's dotted and t's crossed, DONE with my degree requirements.

Once I get my grades back and do all the formalities, I'll have:
(assuming that I passed of course)

• Diploma in Homeland Security
• Associate's degree in Computer Information Systems
• Bachelor's degree in Information Systems, focus on Programming

I feel more smarticles already.

Besides schoolwork, we've had the typical whirlwind of family stuff happening around the house.  I have a few  dozen topics dancing with the sugar plums in my head.  I really need to flush my brain and start over, though.  Kinda like coming back from vacation and deleting the email inbox.  If it's important, it'll come back.

Megan lettered for doing her 3rd season of color guard in the marching band.  She's just now a freshman, so she got credit for the years she was in middle school, but spinning flags w the high school band.  She's kicking tail in her classes too.  Missed straight A's the first semester by one class:  B in violin class.

Sam is home from Radford.  For keepsies.  Before you jump to conclusions, her return is by choice.  She earned solid A's and B's her first semester, but decided to switch schools.  She's already registered for the spring semester at NOVA, and will be transferring to JMU either sophomore or junior year.

Ethan just finished a really cool science project.  He built models of three different bridges, and tested how much they flexed under different weight loads.  His project looked like the projects you see in the movies, 1000x better than anything we ever did in school.

Joe and Celeste are doing their thing down in Kentucky still.  My mom and I took a road trip a while back, checking out their apartment and delivering furniture.  The apartment is super cute in a nice neighborhood, just up the road from where he's working.  They're coming into town for Christmas, so I'm looking forward to getting caught up on all the latest.

Christmas for us is actually starting tomorrow.  Since the kids have so much family, step-family, and extended family, December 25 is insanely busy.  We do our famstuff on a different day, so we can relax a bit and enjoy the time together without dealing with a high-pressure schedule.  We're going to dinner in Alexandria at Columbia Firehouse.  I know it sounds like a bingo hall, but it's actually a really cool restaurant built into the shell of an 1800's firehouse.  After dinner, we're heading down to the National Harbor to check out the lights and shows, before heading home to exchange gifts.

= = = = = = = = = =
Balls.  Not like that.  These are balls in a Christmas, as well as a use your brain, kinda way.

This game kick's some Christmas ass!  You'll soooo wind up on the naughty list, though.  Super Santa Kicker!
(Why is Santa so jolly?  'Cuz he knows where all the naughty girls live.)

= = = = = = = = = =
Send submissions!!!!


Five ways to let your Facebook password get stolen.  (Side note:  it drives me effing crazy when people say "I was hacked!"  After a decade in IT, I've only seen one instance when the user hadn't done something boneheaded first.)

Gawker's password database was compromised.  Here's a graph of the most common passwords in that data spill.  If your password is on the list, maybe you should be a little more creative...

Der-duh-derrr.

Dog people are infinitely funnier than cat people.

Dogs don't need people to be funny:  "I made food!  I'm magical!"

Candy is my favorite part of Halloween.

The 1985 John Riggins limited edition Ford F-150.


Only in West Virginia.

CrifDogs NYC!


All I need is the little box of 8 Crayolas.

I just got free of my BlackBerry.  I can vouch for accuracy of the dinosaur picture.
(btw - Verizon, which caught a lot of my venom over the summer, backed off of their stupid "pay extra for nothing" policy.  We renewed the contract and got three new phones, including my Droid X.  I'm still irritated at Verizon, but I LOVE MY DROID.)

CHOMP!

Dammitall.  I knew it was them.

= = = = = = = = = =

who defines normal?

Slowly, things are getting back to normal around here.

The kids were all running around the country over the holidays. Ethan was down in VaBeach with his dad. He just came home a couple days ago on Amtrak. I picked him up from Union Station which was a huge crowded mess. Traffic to and from DC wasn't bad, just the inside of the station was a madhouse. I think Amtrak's target audience is rookie travelers. Thousands of people, all looking confused, trying to read the map, can't find their gate, and clumsy with their luggage. Auntie Anne's pretzels erased a lot of the stress though.

Joe and the girls went down to Kentucky right after Christmas to see their grandma. The girls are driving home today with the fam, but Joe's staying an extra day and driving home solo tomorrow. Odd, but I'm rather used to dealing with the unexplained by now.

We took the day yesterday to disassemble all the decorations in the house. It's done. All 100% completed. The tree is out at the curb, the outside lights are down from the house, and everything is boxed and back in the attic. The end of the holiday is always a bit depressing, but I'm happy to get back to a more normal schedule.

New Year's Eve was a good time with neighbors and friends. Nothing too crazy, just hanging out around the block for dinner and drinks. Maybe a few too many drinks, or so they tell me. I firmly believe that I partied happy all night, then simply teleported home to bed sometime around 3am.

(Missy - thanks again for not leaving me to sleep in the truck all night.)

I'm thankful that I wasn't wearing flip-flops that night. I would have had all sorts of wardrobe malfunctions and wound up like this guy:


= = = = = = = = = =

The holidays are over, but this game is a good reminder of just how annoying Christmas lights can be.

Save Santa!

= = = = = = = = = =

Review your Facebook config here, to see what FB apps you've granted access to your personal details. I'm sure some of you will be quite shocked at how generous you've been.

Happy Christmas pic of the presents opening their children:


The TSA full of naked idiots.

Apple is full of idiots, too. They're just not naked.

ten ten TEN TEN EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING!!!!


I'm thinking this was not a happy house over the holidays. Ouch. (click to enlarge.)


= = = = = = = = = =

a very special holiday waster

Between the holidays and the crazy blizzard, I was slacking a bit this past week. I caught flak from those of you who can't entertain yourselves. You can consider this waster either really late from last week, but I'm calling it the very early and extra special holiday edition. Just remember, though, calling it special doesn't necessarily make it good.

A month or so back I shared the news that Joe was engaged. The fam likes his fiancée, and they're really happy together, so there's not much stress there. The fact that they've only been dating since the summer was a bit of a shock, but they're planning a 2yr engagement so that pacifies the "rushing into things" concerns. They're even starting to look into buying a home.

Last week I started bugging him for his semester grades. If you remember, he's on the reimbursement plan, where I pay 100% for his classes after he shows me results. He avoids the questions, doesn't respond to email or text, and I start getting the idea that I'm not going to have a very large check to write.

I actually don't have ANY check to write. Genius dropped out back at midterms then hid the fact until finally confessing a couple days ago.

Good news? I learned a year ago not to front him any money. He didn't put a single one of my dollars in the trashcan.

What stresses me? Not the fact that he dropped out of school. If he's not ready to grow up yet, that's cool with me. I'm a bit jealous, actually. I don't want to grow up either. I want to be able to drop out of school when things get too hard. I don't want to pay a mortgage. I want to sleep late.

What stresses me is the mismatch and conflicts between his actions. "We're getting married." "We're trying to buy a house." "I'm going to keep working at the ice cream shop." "I dropped out of school." It's gonna make my brain explode.

So for now, he's crashing at his gf's parent's house, bc she doesn't have a place to live either. He's still scooping at Ben & Jerry's. The shop owner is trying hard to help Joe forget that education BS and become an IceCreamManager instead. They just lost their previous manager, so the owner is in full recruitment mode to fill the slot.

I learned all this information at the end of last week, right before our main Christmas plans. It made the weekend a little tense, but there was enough distraction to keep the subject buried.

Yes, Christmas. Since we've got multiple split-families to coordinate, Missy and I scheduled our Christmas with the kids this past Saturday. We had all sorts of stuff on deck to fill the day, too: DC all day, doing the tourism thing at Union Station, the Botanical Gardens, and the National Christmas Tree. The day was going to end with a dinner cruise on the Odyssey, viewing the lights & sights up and down the Potomac.

Mother Nature had her own plans. The blizzard shut down the entire region and canceled everything on our schedule. Instead, Missy and I were snowed in with 4 kids, 1 fiancée, Missy's mom. Plus lots & lots of dogs: Missy (2) + fiancée (1) + mother-in-law (3) = two hundred and thirteen effing dogs in the house.

Even though the original plans were jammed, the holiday was rescued. We filled the time with lots of playing in the snow, caroling over at Grandma's house, running around the neighborhood, sledding at the Gorge, opening our gifts, and burning the fireplace all weekend long. Instead of a cruise in the city, Missy whipped up a big fondue dinner, punctuated by chocolate fondue for dessert.

Next topic... my schooling. Strayer, consistently boneheaded, came up with a semester schedule that ended during the week between Christmas and NewYears. They tweaked the semester to end a week early. That left the professors with two weeks' worth of lessons to complete in one week. Last week, I burned at least 18 hours on schoolwork and final exams. I'm done til January now, but wow was I crying for a few days. Sometimes I wish I got credit for writing the Waster.

Final thought before I check out this week: Go visit 15minute lunch. I like them. They like me. I won a weird and useless prize for my limited drinking skillz. For reals.

= = = = = = = = = =

Dom found a simple but addictive basketball shooter. Competition between others online, you can even form private leagues to play in the office!

Shopping Cart Hero!

= = = = = = = = = =

Quite possibly somebody has a legitimate explanation for that freaky, no-offensive-line fake kick that the Redskins tried to run last week. It actually makes sense to me now. A little.


Why we should eat horses.

Kristin's friends are hard-core:

Add an eye-patch, Matt is an instant bad-ass!


Mikey found out that Bumbles do more than bounce...


Go 'head; sing the song. You'll get it.


News of the past year, sorted by topic. Click for full size interactive zoomable pic:


Cracked's list of the 15 worst prn ideas ever.

Now let the Charlie Brown Metal Christmas take you thru the holiday...




= = = = = = = = = =

back to the real world

Back to the real world this week. *sigh*

After a barely-working week at Christmas, and another barely-working week at New Years, I've really been scrambling to get caught up and organized. Things are getting closer to controlled, but I'm just not quite there yet. I've got a busy afternoon ahead of me, and I'm just scratching this post out to keep the whiners from complaining about the fact that the FRIDAY Waster has been a misnomer over the holidays.

The 3 younger kids are almost all back in school now, and doing the daily winter prayer for snow. I remember a whole series of superstitions that were supposed to bring winter weather and shut down school. I don't remember if throwing ice cubes on the front lawn ever actually worked, but dammit it was worth a try. There was something else about wearing pajamas backwards or inside out, but the only thing that ever produced was a bad night's sleep and a rash from the wrong parts of the jammies rubbing on the wrong parts of the berries.

Kid1 is a different story. Just before my holiday hiatus, I was trying and trying to find out what his grades were for the fall semester. After bringing home weak grades during freshman semesters 1 & 2, his results were looking even weaker during soph 1. Halfway thru the semester, he heard the news that if he had a third strike, I wouldn't be sending another check to college.

Well, I'm not sending a check.

I don't even know how bad the grades were, actually. He wouldn't even admit any details. He simply told me that I had one less thing to worry about paying for, and that he didn't want to confess the actual GPA results.

I'm totally struggling with this whole situation. On one hand, I've busted my tail to provide him the opportunities that I never took advantage of. I don't want to yank that opportunity away. On the other hand, it's stupid for me continue to do my part (pay) while he doesn't come thru on his part of the deal (study). I use the analogy of buying lunch at a drive thru: I bought him Combo #5, super-sized, and even added an apple pie. He threw the burger out the window, so I drove back around and bought a second meal. I even drove around a third time, to the same result. I'm not buying any more cheeseburgers, until after I know he's not going to throw food out the window anymore.

So like I said a minute ago, *sigh*

On the flip side of the coin, I've got good school news, too. After way too much time invested in my basement at 2am, I finally met all requirements to get my Associates degree in CIS...with a 4.0 GPA too. I know it's only the 2-year degree, but it's my first reward after so much effort, and I'm damn proud of it. I'm looking at it like it's halftime, b/c I'm continuing on to get my Bachelors. It may be unusual to celebrate my degree with an $8 beer, a greasy bratwurst, and a stale pretzel with no salt and lots n lots of mustard, but dammit, that's how you observe halftime. All I need now is a 20 minute wait to take a leak, and I'll be ready for the second half.

= = = = = = = = = =

This zombie game has been showing up all over the place. I personally could do without, and intentionally didn't include it in the last Waster. It kept coming back, and I'm starting to wonder why I'm the only one that doesn't like it. (From a geek perspective, the game is amazingly efficient. But we're here to waste time, not discuss code logic.)

So simple, but so totally frustrating. Similar to boomstick, here's BOOMSHINE.

I do like ninjas. It's a repeat offender on the Waster, and totally worth it.

= = = = = = = = = =

Every site and every blog seems to have a "top 10 of 2008" list of some sort or another. Some lists are cool, some are funny, some make you think a bit, and some just really kinda suck monkey nads. Here is a monster list of links to all those lists.



I love Trent Reznor. He just "accidentally" posted 400Gb of NIN live footage on the interwebs, for all the world to see and play with.

Eloquence in its finest hour (since Palin): "So I think in many ways, you know, we want to have all kinds of different voices, you know, representing us, and I think what I bring to it is, you know, my experience as a mother, as a woman, as a lawyer, you know, I've been an education activist for the last six years here, and, you know, I've written seven books – two on the Constitution, two on American politics. So obviously, you know, we have different strengths and weaknesses."
- - Caroline Kennedy, in an interview with a UK newspaper

Seca found a bunch of things that make you go hmmmm...

I think Mikey has problems than he lets on...


= = = = = = = = = =

holidays and happy hours

I'm on vacation in just under 3 hours. This is a quick-rip of a waster before my brain checks out for a couple of days. We're not going anywhere, just hanging around the area with the fam and some friends. No holiday travels makes the whole thing a lot less stressful.

All the kids are on break already, and The First Lady is on vaca after working a 1/2 day tomorrow, too. I've got a last little bit of holiday prep to do tomorrow morning, then my to-do list consists of keeping the fire stoked and keeping the eggnog cold.

I've had dozens of people ask about Kid1's grades, and I still don't have an answer. I'm pretty stressed over the situation, too. My gut tells me that no news is bad news, although I don't have the specific information yet.

But holidays and happy hours have a way of easing the stress. Give me a ring if you're up for HH tonight. I'm hitting the first cold one in about 2.5 hours. If I don't see you out tonight, have a safe and happy holiday!

= = = = = = = = = =

Seth got this game into my inbox last week, but I didn't have a chance to play with it til the weekend. It may be a bit late, but it still gave me a good giggle.

Laura found the perfect game for us dizzy blondes!

= = = = = = = = = =

Not-quite-right Christmas lyrics.

I know how to pronounce it, but this isn't the proper spelling, is it?
(click to enlarge)


'tis the season for The Smoking Gun to reveal that Santa isn't always a model citizen.

I've been a complete 100% non-smoker for almost 6 months now. My last smoke was the same day as my last day behind the bar. I promise that I'm not now and won't ever be one of those militant anti-everything buzzkills; smoke 'em if you've got 'em. This pic did make me stop for a moment though:
(click to enlarge)

will it please snow already?

dogs + snow = fun
Thanks Angela!


More of my favorite NSFW advent calendar counting down the days til Christmas...

This has been a really odd holiday season so far. Royally busy, but not really focused on holiday-stuff. Not bad, just odd.

Kid1 came home from school last weekend. He's done with the semester, and home for the holidays. His grades got posted yesterday, but I haven't been able to get ahold of them yet.

He started working as a server at the 'Hole this week, which is kinda cool. I'm totally jealous. I really miss that place. I miss the people a lot, and I also miss the complete lack of responsibility that I had there. It sucks to be a grown-up sometimes.

Anyway, he started as a server this week. He's planning to work during Christmas break, and maybe during breaks in the future. He's worked tables before, so there's not much of a learning curve. He should be on the floor and making cash by the end of this week. The only question I have is in reference to his grades. If he's bailing on school, then this is a career choice, and not just a way to make some cash over break. The answer lies in the report cards.

On a different topic, we've been dog-sitting for the past few weeks. Month. For effing ever. We've got an extra chihuahua in the house for about 2 months now. Ugh. Yappy Napoleon complex insecure slobbery pain in my tail. I'm sooooo done with him. The good news is that my Christmas present is that he's going home on Christmas Eve. WHOOOOOHOOOO!

I'm outta here now. Got a lot of kidstuff and holidaystuff to do this weekend. I'm working a partial next week, and the week after, so you may get limited posting to the Waster. It all depends on exactly how I bill my hours.

Happy weekend, happy holidays!

= = = = = = = = = =

The gameplay sucks, but the concept is pretty slick. Real World Racer lets you drive on top of Google Maps, and even make your own course on your own streets.

This game will frustrate the hell out of you. Either that, or I had one too many car-bombs at lunch.

= = = = = = = = = =

Keyboards for blondes (click the pic to zoom)


Sometimes I think Boston is one of the coolest cities ever. Not this time.

The Smoking Gun posts The Mug Shots of the Year!

I always thought I was alone with my control weaknesses. James found this vid that opened my eyes to the fact that there are others who suffer the same trouble.


I never really got how a nativity seems to be special no matter how retarded it may be.

"This is a farewell kiss, you dog!" - Muntadhar al-Zeidi

pleeeeez let it snow soon

(Original found on TheBeast.)

I've got so much to share this week. Nothing important to be sure, just lots of junk. There's just been a buttload of stuff going on in the world, and I've been getting a lot of quality submissions too. Maybe my friends are just getting funnier? I try to share only the highest quality low-brow silliness, so let me know if my standards are slipping.

Home and work and school and fam stuff are all entering holiday mode. All the decorations are done; nothing left to prepare but shopping and wrapping. And paying the invoice.

Kid1 is taking his last finals today, and driving home tonight. He'll be home for about a month (maybe longer, depending on the grades I haven't seen yet.) I've got my finals next week, then my classes are on winter break for a couple weeks, too. We're not going anywhere for the holidays, but we're all taking a few days' break from work to just hang out with the fam.

On a sad note: No Christmas party this year. It's become a regular thing over the past few years, but it's just not happening this time Scheds have just been crazy busy at home for the recent months, and the First Lady simply isn't prepped to hostess the festivities. I could do it myself, but my hosting skillz don't extend much farther than making sure that alcohol > guests and there are multiple types of Doritos available.

We had a teasing of snow the other day, and whispers of more in the forecast. Snow puts me in the holiday spirit, but NSFW advent calendars are why Christmas is my favorite time of the year. (check that link daily)

= = = = = = = = = =

Some of us feel dumb on a regular basis. Playing Endice will make all of us feel like short-bus riding window-lickers. (Hint: the "easy" levels are a LIE!)

Drawminoes has the potential to be fun & creative, but it's just a bit too slow to get anything done. Some of the 'favorites' are interesting though, mostly b/c somebody else has already done the boring part.

Ninja Line Rider!

= = = = = = = = = =

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't. The Socratic method will help you understand. It's all about those two-fingered aliens.

Goodbye, Bettie Page. You managed to combine being a classy lady AND a dirty girl at the same time. Much love.

Hoh-Lee CRAP! I'm trying to describe these guys, and Hoh-Lee CRAP is the best I can do. Not so often that I'm at a loss for words, but this? WOW.


Jen sent this to me, and I thought it was just Entertainment Tonight schlock until I clicked the link. Jennifer Aniston is 40 years old and is smokin' hot!
Interview
Eff the interview, here is the slideshow.

I'd so totally win.


Taking the fun out of all the best kid games.

1980s Saturday morning cartoon theme songs.

Laura found this vid.... I'm not sure if she was trying to make a contribution to the blog or trying to send me a warning.


Another transparency development from Obama: docs from external groups meeting w/ the transition are posted online for review and comment. Totally cool.

(giggle - no more Bush!)


Mmmmm... bacon.

Eddi's closing this week's session with some of his hometown Düsseldorf music. Die Toten Hosen (The Dead Pants!) have a new album out: In Aller Stille (In Silence). The songs rock, and the video kicks ass!
= = = = = = = = = =